You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
