She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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