Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
