glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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