I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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