I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
