I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize