Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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