how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
try to milk me bitch
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