careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
