Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
