I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
