stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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