one might say we're banned from that church
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
