What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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