I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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