I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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