If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
