In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
