Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
