After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have tasted many bathrooms
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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