I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Your mouth is God's brothel.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
