it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
