So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
