i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
