If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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