me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
