You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
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The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
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Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone