does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..