so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot