I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement