If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
