i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
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ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
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We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When are your genitals available?