ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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