I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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