bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
