Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
