do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
