i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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