People with herpes should wear stickers.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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