I have demons in me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
