this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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