god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
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Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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