I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
