I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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