no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
they need to just BURY HIM!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
