I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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