1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
