Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
