I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
