If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My dick has a subreddit
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
