remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
