You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
