my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
