So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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