We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
is it fun? or sober?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
