is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
