So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
