Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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