that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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