pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
