I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
