Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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