i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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