everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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