I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i believe in u and ur pee
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
