Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
