Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
