you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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