she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Randomize
