We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
