its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
